Value as an Oilfield Wife

Value as an Oilfield Wife

a woman’s perspective should never be ignored. She is after all, the one raising the children, making sure the bills are paid, and buying the groceries and dealing with situations than in every other lifestyle would include the help of her husband.
by Gypsy Lyn  |   Saturday, June 22, 2013
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The life of an oilfield wife can be daunting at times.  You find yourself alone more often then you ever thought you would, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t help but feel lonely at times.  In the many years that my husband has had to work away from home, I spent my time trying to entertain myself by doing projects.  Anything from large puzzles to building a porch would occupy my mind when my husband was away on location.

I have spent countless numbers of hours visiting websites that are oilfield related and have read countless threads regarding the hardships of being an oilfield wife.  Also, many times I have read criticism, claiming that as a wife, we should not complain.  I do not think that a woman ever complains about the work her husband does, nor does she ever feel that her husband does not suffer the same loneliness on occasion.  However, it is not an easy life, for anyone and a woman’s perspective should never be ignored. She is after all, the one raising the children, making sure the bills are paid, and buying the groceries and dealing with situations than in every other lifestyle would include the help of her husband. 

What many husbands and outsiders do not understand, is that an oilfield wife worries in ways that a normal housewife would never worry.  Similar to an Army Wife, we never know when our husbands will be home.  Granted it is usually not as long as an army wife would have to suffer, yet the emotions are alike.  We worry that our husbands will be too tired to drive, we worry the possibilities of rig accidents, we worry that our children will never understand why their dad is gone so often, or if their behavior issues are a result.  We worry about what we would do if the dryer breaks or the car breaks down, or if there is a medical emergency in the family.  Mostly we worry, that our husband on location is worrying about the same things, and is not focused on his job, so we try to minimize our emotions and keep these worries at bay.  We never let on that our kids are crying at night for their daddy, or that we are crying too… not being unfocused on location, hundreds of miles from home, can have deadly consequences for our husbands.

There are many rewards to being this kind of wife, I cannot lie.  However, we have value and our opinions and heartaches should not be diminished just because we do not perform the hard labor.  We take on mental heartache, and dealing with life in a way that other wives could never imagine.  We love our husbands, sons, and fathers who dedicate their daily lives to oil.  If we didn’t, we would not be standing next to them.  We understand that our husband’s work pressures are hard, and that his job is tiring, and are very important; it’s all part of this partnership.  And we would gladly continue this partnership, most of us, until the end.



Oilfield Wives

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Generated by readers, the comments included herein do not reflect the views and opinions of RigHands. All comments are subject to editorial review. Off-topic, inappropriate or insulting comments will be removed.
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andrea | Sunday, June 23, 2013
thanks baby for all you do!
Jeffianne Huntsman | Sunday, June 23, 2013
This is so perfect.. I have been experiencing the emotional lows recently.. and this expresses how i feel perfectly.
Maggie Gonzalez | Sunday, June 23, 2013
Praying for all the men out there
Deana McGrady | Sunday, June 23, 2013
My husband has been in the oilfield for 8 years and before that his other job took him away from home. You learn to be the moral provider of everything. My husband has always supported our lifestyle and I have supported our family. We make it work that is what a wife and mother should do.
Mary Price | Sunday, June 23, 2013
I have been an Oilfield Wife and mommy of 5 for 21+ years!! It IS a had life and for sure NOT for everyone! I CAN say that we wives stick together!! It IS lonely and they USUALLY miss EVERYTHING!! But as for MYSELF... I would NOT have it any other way!!!
Amanda Shinn | Sunday, June 23, 2013
This is a perfect example and meaning and definition of LOVE AND DEDICATION!!! I'm both honored and grateful to be apart of such a great group of people and to be an OFW...
Karla iness | Monday, June 24, 2013
scott | Monday, June 24, 2013
I know my wife can definitely relate to this because she has been both and roughnecks wife and is currently an army wife. I remember when I first enlisted her and a few of the other wives were talking about how much us husbands were away from home the other wives were having a hard time adjusting and she looked at them and said the only thing she was having a hard time with was the amount of time that we suddenly spending together. She wasn't use to me being home that much.
Ashley Stanley | Monday, June 24, 2013
Although I have alot of respect for you, what about the mothers who are doing both? I am a working oilfield single mother of two little girls. I was married, but had to get out of it because it was an abusive relationship. I work long, tiresome hours. Shift work. Come home, clean house, cook, wash clothes, TAKE CARE OF MY DAUGHTERS, and spend as much time with them as I can on my days off while I am not working overtime to pay for babysitting or for their birthday presents. Just saying...
Beau black | Monday, June 24, 2013
Thank you Jenny Neal for everything you do for me and our kids you truly are a remarkable person!!!! The qualities I find in you are rare these days and I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do and will never take you for granted. I LOVE YOU more than you know baby
Inspectors wife | Monday, June 24, 2013
Thank you
Danielle Elias | Monday, June 24, 2013
Very good article. Although I am not an oilfield wife, I have felt that way many times and lonely too. Now that our kids are older I have to work to help put them through good Christian schooling, so on top of taking care of everything at home, I now have the extra stress of helping financially, also because of college and or university soon to be for our two youngest. It gets harder and a lot more expensive, as the kids get older. So many responsibilities.
Chasity | Monday, June 24, 2013
This is very true on so many levels. Lots of people fail to realize our husband's (bf, father's, grandfather's ext.) that work on land 12+ hours away then they get in their vehicles after working long 12 hr shifts to drive home. That is just as stressful as worrying about the dangers on the job. Thank you for sharing. OFW for life =)
LaKrisha LaCoste | Monday, June 24, 2013
wow. That was very well said!
the grinch | Monday, June 24, 2013
What a load of shite. Money money money. If you cared so much you'd tell him to get a normal job and you contribute too. Bet you drive a nice car and live in a nice house. Bet your kids wear expensive clothes. Bet you meet up with the 'WAGS" for brunch. Keep watching the money roll in. I mean, isn't it what its all about? Would he do it for $2000 a month? Thought not.
clay | Tuesday, June 25, 2013
If only you knew what 95% of the 'husbands' were doing when they were out.....I'd be worried too.
John Rotten | Tuesday, June 25, 2013
She is kind of whiny. Like one of those chicks that you phone up and spend 30 minutes listening to her drone on about the colour of the napkins at her mothers funeral while you "ok" "yes" "right" from time to time. When all you can think about it what top shelf DVD you'll be watching tonight and having a bit of alone time in the top bunk.

Personally I'd ditch her and head down Pataya, but be careful to remain heartless at all times.

Stay safe sailors.

John X
Lori Regan | Friday, July 12, 2013
I'm an old school oilfield wife...It takes a very strong secure woman to do what we do. Being both mom and dad while they or thousands of miles away for months at a time. Plumber, electrician or general handyperson to keep things going. We work fulltime jobs and live a rollercoaster life. it's hard! I'm now on the good side after 23 yrs. He is in country and works close to home as a trainer for new service hands our kids age. It wasn't easy. you go girls!
Paul | Thursday, August 08, 2013
While your writeup is excellent, you do not mention the fact that oil is in abundance; the majority of oil indeed has been discovered by the Majors. However, for decades these evil companies have CAPPED production (poured cement on top of wellheads) IN THE DOZENS around the world in order to monopolise the market price of the black gold. Meanwhile, people like you and your husband waste your lives digging for more unnecessary oil!!! Why don't you mention hubby's $120k income????
Marty Mcfly | Friday, October 25, 2013
''Personally I'd ditch her and head down Pataya, but be careful to remain heartless at all times.''

Kasey | Thursday, May 08, 2014
I agree with this summary of oil field wives and family so very much I have been in the oil field for some years now and have experienced that it takes only very special women to be a rough necks women.thats pretty much an Under statement cause I have no other powerful enough words to I'll just say thanks oil field ladies you mean a lot to us hard working rough necks.
Barb | Wednesday, June 24, 2015
It's been lonely etc
Good thing I'm a strong woman
Just wish there was a little more respect!
I basically now what being an oil defied wife is and am blessed we have kept our personalized in tact
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